Humorous

«So. Monday. We meet again.»

Julio Alexi Genao


«The difference between Strauss and Ranieri?” says one trader still at Salomon. “That’s easy. Strauss wouldn’t stoop to use the men’s room on the trading floor. He’d go upstairs. Lewie would piss on your desk.»

Michael Lewis


«wear flannel next to your skin, and never believe in eternal punishment.»

Julian Barnes


«Josh is the company tech expert, which means we all think he’s a little bit shaman, a little bit magician, and mostly a nerd.»

Julia Kent


«If you are not dancing, your dead.»

Lisa Alpine


«Attacking a provincial lord in his manor house, surrounded by guards...Honestly, Kell, I'd nearly forgotten how foolhardy you can be.»

Brandon Sanderson


«I strive for perfection - I settle for satisfaction»

Carroll Bryant


«Hotel Conundrum: The continental breakfast. What is it that makes continents so shitty at providing an adequate breakfast?»

Demetri Martin


«Scrawny little mundane bastard.»

Cassandra Clare


«He's dead?' Vera asked. 'He's dead? Johnny's dead?'»

Stephen King


«Renee: “The Greek government doesn’t know that I found anything that day in the temple. And they for sure wouldn’t want to know about the little mess I left behind.” She grimaced.»

John C. Stipa


«Yo Mama's like a library, open to the public.»

Oliver Oliver Reed


«It’s all about “Priorities” There's No Such Thing as "Busy»

Abhishek Shukla


«I met a few chimpanzees on my pilgrimages and I wasn't sure if they were just shrivelled-up villagers or chimps...»

Jonathan Dunne


«Actually, watching television and surfing the Internet are really excellent practice for being dead.»

Chuck Palahniuk


«That is my story. Believe what you will. I remember it all; I remember it still.»

Mili Fay


«I laugh when i'm hurt.»

Damien Buerger


«Where's the pleasure in bein' the winner if the loser ain't alive to know they've lost?»

Terry Pratchett


«Oh, you know what bloggers are like, they write and write and write. I don't know why, because they're not being paid.»

Jon Ronson


«Jim: Green and red. (pulls on green lever which closes a door)»

Wild Wild West TV TV


«Please put your penises away, gentlemen. Dinner is procured. By a woman.»

Kresley Cole


«Forget your past,»

Nitesh Nishad


«Time change - Moments don't.»

Abhishek Shukla


«Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.»

Carroll Bryant


«Zane wondered if Ty was a mama‟s boy. He tipped his head to the side, watching them as he picked out a piece of warm bread, and thought maybe so. Not that he would ever voice that opinion to Ty until he was good and ready to die.»

Madeleine Urban


«Just because you’re allowed to use magic now you don’t have to whip your wands out for every tiny little thing!»

J.K. Rowling


«Locavore?" But before he could answer, I figured it out. "Someone who eats food produced locally? As opposed to locovore, someone who eats crazy people?»

Mari Donne


«A Man can Live two Weeks without Food,»

Walter Thomas Jr


«Emma was doing something nice for Simon? Hell must be enjoying the snow day.»

E.J. Stevens


«Paranoid means you are aware of 10% of the problem»

Oran Kangas