Humorous

«The worst thing about the dead rising? (Other than, you know, all the zombies?) The smell. Nothing kills the mood like the odor of three day old road kill and poo... -Katherine Anita Cho(KyCH)»

Shawn Durnin


«Asher taps his fingers on his lips and I catch Amy licking her own as she eyes his mouth. "What exactly are Rocky Mountain Oysters?" he asks her.»

Jessica Sorensen


«I once asked him why he smoked the world's most expensive cigarette, and he told me it was because he was a man of wealth and taste, at least according to Mick Jagger.»

K.H. Koehler


«The only principle of Success in Life :"You must be present to win.»

Abhishek Shukla


«Wakey wakey eggs and bacey!»

Jayson James


«...but once more I say do as you please, for we women are born to this burden of being obedient to our husbands, though they be blockheads»

Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra


«Writing is a wonderful way to spend the day. Particularly when the alternative is housework!»

J. Mary Masters


«Egad, I think the interpreter is the hardest to be understood of the two!»

Richard Brinsley Sheridan


«It wasn't a lie, not at all like one of those lies she told herself all the time, like This is the last drink of the evening, or I'm not going to set the bitch's house on fire.»

Melissa de la Cruz


«Rosalind exploded with a shriek worthy of a tea-kettle.»

Emma Clifton


«I didn't read the book. I burned it after the first sentence.»

Rodindeadpan


«The Lord turned water into wine. All I'm suggesting is a trip to the grocery store.»

Jodi Picoult


«Allan praised Herbert for a job well done and for acting the part well. Herbert blushed, while dismissing the praise, saying it wasn't hard to play stupid when you are stupid. Allan said that he didn't know how hard it was, because the idiots Allan had met so far in his life had all tried to do the opposite.»

Jonasson, Jonas


«Ron: [mimicking Hermione] "It's Levi-OOOOH-sa not LevioSAR." She's a nightmare, honestly. It's no wonder she hasn't got any friends!»

J.K. Rowling


«Elvis!" Min shoved herself off the couch to shoo him away. "Stay away from there. There's broken glass."»

Jennifer Crusie


«The only goal in life is to be happy, genuinely, intensely and consistently , regardless of what it looks like to others.»

Abhishek Shukla


«A table for TONIGHT should certainly have been booked years before-perhaps, it was implied, by Richard's parents. A table for TONIGHT was impossible: if the pope, the prime minister, and the president of France arrived this evening without a confirmed reservation, even they would be turned out into the street with a continental jeer.»

Neil Gaiman


«Himmlisch ist's wenn ich bezwungen Meine irdische Begier; Aber doch wenn's nich gelungen Hatt' ich auch recht huebsch Plaisir!»

Leo Tolstoy


«I love fortune readings! because when I get in troubles, if the reading says that I am in a lucky day, I can think my troubles are just some kind of mistakes, and if the reading says that I am in the unlucky day, I can think that my troubles are just because of my bad luck. Either ways, I can know the reason of my troubles.»

Hiroko Sakai


«Wisdom of the Ages: "Brian Williams" This guy gets around more than Brian Wilson and the Beach Boys, but this time, I think he's gone too far. Unfortunately, I can't put a cover of my book My Year in Oman with Mr. Williams' picture on the cover.»

Matthew Heines


«Life is too short to be anything but happy. So kiss slowly. Love deeply. Forgive quickly. Take chances and never have regrets. Forget the past but remember what it taught you.»

Abhishek Shukla


«Art speaks to everyone but some people don't listen.»

C Vallo


«Asshole," Ephraim muttered as he turned back around.»

R.L. Mathewson


«He told us that it had been a fine day to-day, and we told him that it had been a fine day yesterday, and then we all told each other that we thought it would be a fine day to-morrow; and George said the crops seemed to be coming up nicely.»

Jerome K. Jerome


«Didn't anyone tell you that size doesn't matter?"»

Christine Warren


«You are not permitted to kill a woman who has wronged you, but nothing forbids you to reflect that she is growing older every minute.»

Ambrose Bierce


«Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like "Second Tall Man".»

Russell Beland


«Can you imagine life without the horror genre? There would be no monsters. Only a**holes.»

Michael A. Arnzen


«I've fucked you, licked you, bound you, flogged you, and spanked you. Jesus, Lilly, how much more do you want to get to know each other?»

Ella Dominguez


«Bones didn’t share any of my qualms about suddenly holding an arm that wasn’t attached to a body anymore. He just grabbed the ghoul by his other arm and began thumping him over the head with the loose limb. I’d heard Bones threaten to beat someone with their own limb before, but I’d always assumed that was a figure of speech. Apparently not.»

Jeaniene Frost