Humour

«But the plans were on display…”»

Douglas Adams


«I glared at him. “You didn't leave me alone for five minutes, you left me alone for a week. I could have hacked myself to pieces if there's been more than one mango in the house. You could have come home to a very gory scene. The press would have had a field day ... Gay Houseboy In Mango Tragedy. Bears arrested for leaving cub unattended for seven, almost eight whole days with an armed and dangerous killer mango roaming loose about the house.”»

Gillibran Brown


«When you walk into a chocolate store, suddenly the most difficult decision you will ever have to make in your life, is which chocolates to pick! It is pure torture! Especially when you are in Belgium surrounded by Belgian chocolates!»

C. JoyBell C.


«But china is seldom thrown from a great height; it is one of the rarest of human actions. You have to find in conjunction a very high house, and a woman of such reckless impulse and passionate prejudice that she flings her jar or pot straight from the window without thought of who is below.»

Virginia Woolf


«Anyone who thinks money can't buy happiness has never owned a cat [or any pet].»

Arya Riverdale


«They are easy enough to recognize. They are the ones who say things like 'You love me, you just don't know it yet.»

Judy Balan


«Comedy is hard work. People expect you to be funny 24/7. So if you're not constantly cracking up your friends, it can hurt you professionally. They may not read your book or come to your show. 'She's a comedian? She's not that funny!' It's unfair 'cause when cardio surgeon friends say they cut chests open and hold hearts in their hands, everyone just takes their word for it.»

Judy Balan


«The grass on the other side of the hill may well be greener, but you should always check that there isn't something with teeth and claws crouching in it.»

Chris I. Naylor


«Just think, she said to herself. I could be living on the Right Bank. I could be married to a senior clerk at the Treasury. I could be sitting with my feet up, embroidering a linen handkerchief with a rambling-rose design. Instead I'm on the rue des Cordeliers in pursuit of a baguette, with a three-inch blade for comfort.»

Hilary Mantel


«Yo Mama's like a library, open to the public.»

Oliver Oliver Reed


«Malaysia, Ipoh,Johor Bahru, Kota Most Amazing Online Spell Caster that work, Lost Love Black magic Voodoo spells»

Malaysia, Ipoh,Johor Bahru, Kota Most Amazing Online Spell Caster that work, Lost Love Black magic V


«Men will always be boys.»

Lailah Gifty Akita


«When you reach the middle of your career ladder, turn it the other way around and slide down to the top»

Benny Bellamacina


«Honest to God, she was the noisiest woman he'd ever been shot at with.»

Jill Shalvis


«I like bread, and I like butter - but I like bread with butter best.»

Sarah Weiner


«You know what they say, Two pairs a company, cheese a croud»

Annoying Orange


«Kevyn, Ennesby tells me you are building a time machine.»

Howard Tayler


«What would your shoes say about the things you do everyday?»

Sherley Mondesir-Prescott


«I personally like being unique. I like being my own person with my own style and my own opinions and my own toothbrush.»

Ellen DeGeneres


«If you neglected to warn Djetth beforehand that you were going to shoot him down, Your Highness, he may consider you in breach of contract...»

Rowena Cherry


«Recapping the water he turned on the sofa to face her, his eyes reflexively dropping to her chest where he knew the key was hidden. Thank God the dress was high necked, otherwise he would be outright eyeing her cleavage.»

Jane Cousins


«She shivered as he left her to go to the fire, and find water and cloths. He leaned into the light, and brightness and shadows moved across his body. He was beautiful. She admired him, and he flashed a grin at her.»

Kristin Cashore


«Idiots emit bogons, causing machinery to malfunction in their presence. System administrators absorb bogons, letting machinery work again.»

Charles Stross


«No sense in settling for mediocre minions»

A. Dalcourt


«100% - Spell-Caster Online Most-Powerful Lost - Lost - Black Magic - Voodoo Spells that work Africa, Europe, Canada, Australia, United Kingdom, United States, Oceania,Carribean, World Wide»

100%-Spell-Caster Online Most-Powerful Lost - Lost - Black Magic - Voodoo Spells that work Africa, E


«Is there somebody out there? Amy, is that you?” her mother called.»

Sarah Mayberry


«The Gasman leaned over and examined the tangled pile of stereo guts spread out on the kitchen table. “It looks like a robot came in here and threw up,” he observed»

James Patterson


«Yeah, well, get Jack a GPS or something. He's a step above faeries, but only just. At least they never dropped me straight into a river. Don't give me any assignments near cliffs, okay? I shudder to think where Jack might toss me out."»

Kiersten White


«It was almost noon when the plane touched down at the Triad airport on the outskirts of Greensboro. There was a hire car waiting for me; I waved my notepad at the dashboard to transmit my profile, then waited as the seating and controls rearranged themselves slightly, piezoelectric actuators humming. As I started to reverse out of the parking bay, the stereo began a soothing improvisation, flashing up a deadpan title: Music for Leaving Airports 11 June 2008.»

Greg Egan


«I'm sorry,' said the shopkeeper. 'I can't understand your ridiculous accent.'»

Derek Landy