Humour

«My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.»

Socrates


«Vajon összetört-e ő is annyi szívet, mint én fiatalkoromban? Most már aligha menne. Fél órába telik, mire összeszedem a bátorságomat, hogy felálljak. Jó ideje nem ríkattam meg más nőt, csak azoknak a feleségeit, akiket Anglandba száműztem.»

Joe Abercrombie


«People look at a chair and say, “It’s just a chair,” but I like to think it’s more than a chair. I like to seek deeper meaning in things, even inanimate things. I know this makes me sound like a complete nutcase, but (a) I swear I’m not, and (b) it’s just an example.»

Connor Franta


«Michael and Luke met for the first time after 106 years – although the pair lived just 20 miles away from each other.»

Cliódhna Russell


«Mr Wisdom,' said the girl who had led him into the presence.»

P.G. Wodehouse


«Always remember rule #6... don't take yourself so damn seriously»

Ben and Rosamund Zander


«Sometimes a butterfly flaps its wings and the weather turns out fine.»

Johnny Rich


«Idiocy in the modern age isn't an all-encompassing, twenty-four-hour situation for most people. It's a condition that everybody slips into many times a day. Life is just too complicated to be smart all the time.»

Scott Adams


«Think before you speak, unless it's urgent»

Benny Bellamacina


«â€¦a waitress came out and plonked in front of each of us a small standard terra-cotta flowerpot in which had been baked a little loaf of bread.»

Bill Bryson


«Augustus Waters was a self-aggrandizing bastard. But we forgive him. We forgive him not because he had a heart as figuratively good as his literal one sucked, or because he knew more about how to hold a cigarette than any nonsmoker in history, or because he got eighteen years when he should've gotten more."»

John Green


«Life makes fun of us and we should help it.»

David Brandon


«Trying to be hot, but looking not»

akanksha sharma


«Of course it hurt you neanderthal! See that? Thats blood. If theres blood, theres pain. Its like smoke and fire.»

Jennifer Crusie


«Tis not fair, you know. I have no life left, not even enough to get up, and you are footslogging around this chamber as if you have fire under your…” She paused.»

Jill Barnett


«Life would be tragic if it weren't funny.»

Stephen Hawking


«Septimus: There is nothing more to be said about sexual congress.»

Tom Stoppard


«I prefer 'buccaneers',' he grinned. 'A small privately funded army of committed peacekeepers. Tough, but fair. Our motto is: We put the fist in 'pacifist'.»

Cash Peters


«Ready?" Aeron called over.»

Dylan Perry


«Excuse me, your attention please.”»

Sarah Mayberry


«I love therapy. I don't get the taboo about seeking therapy at all. It's exactly like taking Buzzfeed quizzes. At the end of the day, we all want to know what cocktail we are. But it means so much more when it comes from a shrink. It's like 'Ooh, I really am Liquid Cocaine!»

Judy Balan


«...And began typing.»

Brodi Ashton


«Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, I'm not going to make it, but you laugh inside — remembering all the times you've felt that way.»

Charles Bukowski


«Where death gives you a sense of humour, life gives you a sense of love.»

Athan Fletcher


«à¤¹à¤¿à¤‚दुस्तान में कभी कोई प्राइवेट इंजीन्यरिंग कॉलेज में पढ़ने के लिए कोचिंग नहीं करता।»

Divya Prakash Dubey


«I was doing my little stand up shtick, the one I did for pretty girls, so they'd like me quickly and wouldn't try too hard to actually get to know me beyond my role as wisecracking Cameron, the orphan. Maybe it was a little like flirting, but also a kind of protection: Don't get too close; I'm just jokes with substance.»

Emily M. Danforth


«Just then Antonio, his two guards, his two Pit Bulls, Sebastian, and a strange, tall Keja bloke who had long white-grey hair and a matching long beard entered.»

Suzanne Wrightt


«..."I might be entertaining the idea of tamping down my nihilism. Just a bit. Not because life is not meaningless—I think that’s inarguable. It’s just that the constant awareness of its pointlessness is exhausting. I wouldn’t mind being oblivious again. I’d love to feel the wind in my face and think, just for minute, that I’m not going to crash into the rocks.”»

Daryl Gregory


«We'll cross that bridge when we come to it.»

Howard Tayler


«Humanity, let us say, is like people packed in an automobile which is traveling downhill without lights at terrific speed and driven by a four-year-old child. The signposts along the way are all marked 'Progress.»

Lord Dunsany